Canal - Parte 2

Bem, essa é aquela parte da história na qual não tem muito o que contar, mas as aventuras continuam a existir!
Estava eu em mais um momento de aflição e horror, quando derrepende começaram os trabalhos rumo a perfuração. Dessa vez, a dor foi um pouquinho maior, pois o doutor resolveu enfiar um bocado de coisinhas coloridas, uma por uma, no dente. Além disso, tinha mais uma pessoa na sala, um daqueles estagiários com cara de 'eu sou nerd' que ficava observando os acontecimentos para com minha pessoa.
Bem, foi tudo em ordem, tudo sem problemas, o médico foi um amor, e o estágiario um otário...lol

It's not necessary for you to focus on something...

Well, I was drinking some beers with Fabio and some others friends of mine, there in front of college. So, I took this weird pic. But, if you look carefully at this one, you can see yourself, no matter who you are. Know why? 'cause we're all made of fearless, hapiness, confusions...It's normal...

There, I can see my soul clearly. It wasn't my intention to do this at that time, but I did. Fortunately, I did. You hardly ever find people who can show your soul belong something concrete, visible...I myself consider me a little bit confused...A little bit? Maybe very confused. I can decide easily amounts of problems, but there are other which I don't know what I should do, or what I should've done....

Summarizing, it's what I'd like to say...=)

xoxoxo

Why do people change?

I've lost a party. Well, I guess it's incredible...Everyone who know me can figure it out.
I don't know, but I don't feel like drinking a lot of bottles of wine, or dancing until my body asks me for resting. I guess I've changed. Unfortunately, I just can't admit that I'll be on this way forever, 'cause future is a surprise box. Do you think that I'm more homeboy because I'm dating? I don't think so. I don't have problems on hanging out with my friends. I could think I'm old and tired, but it's not true! Somewhere in this city there's a bed which tells it if you ask it! (6)
But I can affirm that I'm addicted to my computer...lool My brother went to this same party, so that I can surf the net 'til late today!
Well, that's all, soon I'll come back with something bigger to type here... =)

Boys & girls pretend to know me
They try so hard
And I get what I want
My name is my credit card
Don't try to hate me
Because I am so popular
Pop pop popular

('Popular', The Veronicas)


wooooow, sorry 'bout that, but you don't have a T-shirt as I do....lol
This topis is here just to show you the newest trendy label! hahahahahahahaha
Join me, and buy one for you, become popular! xD

This guy...how can I describe my feelings about him? Hard to decide...

Well, this is the guy who I've never thought creating an amazing relationship as I did. We were just roomated from college, and we weren't BFF's lol

Suddenly, we started talking about trivial things, such as friends, life, professional matters, these stuffs. And we saw we could be better together. He hasn't the same life experience as I do, but he knows how to say that word that I needed to hear at that moment.

We argue, of course. Because we aren't perfect, and we have different points of view about the same situation, or the same problem. But disliking him would be unherad of...I consider him my bf's brother-in-law, because he's always by my side whenever I need him!

I'm very lucky! I'm very lucky, 'cause me and Joel like the same Tv Show, Gossip Girls. I guess we can see each other inside those characters, Serena and Blair...We have one style of power, undescribable power. And when someone bothers us, we just let this person down and say xoxo, gossip girl lol

Joel, I want you to know that I'm very thankful for your existence inside my life and for your help, okay? Whenever we need each other, I hope we can be together and nobody will leave us apart. So, thanks at all. Thanks for being with me even when I'm drunk! lol

This last pic is from our favorite characters, Serena and Blair...We are them, of course! =)

I hate the way he says goodbye for me, 'cuz he usually seems to be cold and just says one single word. So, I wanna do the same thing here, just for reminding you, my dear college friend...

Bye!

Leisure Time

Well, at that day was Fabiana's birthday. We had a class earlier and we were just waiting for one friend of us...

Why have I decided to put this pic here? Well, 'cause they are cool, and I like talking to them sometimes. Lilian usually asks me for some doubts about the world and sometimes we just discuss some trivial moment.

I have another reason! I guess I'm cool inside this pic...lol I liked my face here...

Actually, we are taking literature class together. And it's a challenge for me, because it's not my cuo of tea at all. I've been learning how to like it and how to get some pleasure with this subject. If you find it easy, try studying portuguese literature with Magna...lol² She repeats everything twice, at least. It's easy to get bored! Then, at the end of this class, we were supposed to be sad and discouraged, 'cause there's nothing really cool there. But, as you can see in this pic, we are smiling!

So, I summarize this topic saying that even when you're sad, you find reasons to smile. Even when you're upset and the world just bothers you, you can forget it at all, and smile. I know it's quite late to say this, but, happy b-day, Fabi!

"Be with me

Stay with me

Just for now

Let the time decide when I won't need you" (Hana Pestle, "Need")

When will you be ready to leave that person who you love? Maybe, it's not an easy question to answer...Maybe not.

Sometimes, we feel ourselves so safe and happy with that person that we just can't imagine living without him. But suddenly, you look at yourself in front of the mirror with those red eyes, crying. Why? 'Cause you've lost your safe arms, that embrace which you've always liked. Well, suddenly future isn't that one you've been dreaming about.

Sometimes, we figure out that we never care about ourselves, we've never imagined us without a love. So, how can a person stand by yourself? Well, destiny isn't cuel, but it's not so cool as it could seem at all...

So, I've learned that we must love ourselves first, before loving somebody else. That's all

Canal - Parte 1

Estava eu feliz e calmo em minha simples vida. De repente, uma miserável dor me ameaça o dente. Uma dor de dente muito forte, maior do que muitas outras que já possa ter sentido anteriormente. Isso foi um fato verídico, acontecido por volta de 1 ou 1 mês e meio comigo.Pensei seriamente no que deveria ser feito. Recorri a todos os meios e formas de resolver esse problema que estava acabando com meus nervos, de tanta agonia. Repentinamente, a dor se foi, e eu respirei aliviado. Um alívio inexplicável, uma sensação de bem estar muito agradável. Desse modo, me senti livre daquilo que um dia podia ser algo mais grave.
De repende, num "belo" dia, a dor voltou, constante e chata. Eu recorrir a pessoas que eu conheci e descobri que era melhor ir urgente ao médico, pois era cárie e deveria ser tratada. Na verdade, eu não acreditava ser isso, pois não via parecer ser tal coisa. Quandof finalmente criei coragem, enfrentei o tão temido dentista! Em um simples olhar ele disse "isso aê só com canal, meu caro"...
Canal, mas o que realmente é isso? Uma pessoa que amo descontroladamente disse me explicou que era um processo cirúrgico no qual o dente é aberto e eu nervo, retirado. Processo cirúrgico....acho que o canal em si não me incomodava mais, agora o tal do processo cirúrgico me vinha a cabeça sempre, em todos os momentos. "Mas por que eu? O que eu fiz pra merecer tal desgraça?". O medo era o único sentimento que se fazia prevalecer naquele momento de fraqueza física e espirtual. Apenas o fato de imaginar o desenrolar do tal processo me arrepiava as espinhas!
Agora, bastava saber com que pernas, com que mãos e com que coragem mover-se-ia a minha pessoa para o encontro da tão temida marcação de tratamento de canal. Bem, eu não afirmo claramente que a força veio só de mim. Agradeço muito aquele ser que sabe muito bem que me ajudou bastante...o meu amor.
Dessa forma, 'processo cirúrgico' marcado. Para uma semana. Meu Deus, terei eu forças pra enfrentar tal questão que parecia colocar minha vida em uma corda bamba, num exercício contínuo de auto-estima? Será que eu sou capaz de enfrentar aquilo que me machuca calada e minunciosamente? Pensei durante a semana toda, e no dia, lá fui eu.
Observei atentamente o rosto do médico, que me fitava serenamente, com um olhar de sabedoria e de responsabilidade. Eu, por sinal, trocava o foco do meu olho, numa velocidade amarga e assustada, como um animal retirado de seu habitat natural. Quando pude enxergar nitidamente aquele objeto pontiagudo que me ia furar o dente, senti meu coração tentando sair da caixa toráxica, de forma que eu não conseguia respirar relaxadamente. O suor escorria, mais ainda quando percebi a existência de tal agulha fina e assustadora.Em questão de segundos, tal agulha me perfurou e senti um alívio ainda maior do que aquele que havia sentido anteriormente.
A partir desse momento, comecei a conversar silenciosamente com aquele mais novo amigo, e o seu nome era 'Anestesia'. Desde então, senti um peso tremendo dentro da minha boca salivante, mas o meu amigo ajudou-me a afastar a dor, completamente.Saí do tal consultório sorridente, feliz, apaziguado. Acredito eu que nunca imaginara ser tal processo cirúrgico uma coisa de simplicidade tamanha. Simplicidade essa que me acalma para o segundo encontro com o tal doutor e o tal amigo Anestesia, amigo esse que até faz-me sentir encorajado e firme para enfrentar esse desafio.

Have you ever tried to help someone and sundelly you were considered a bad person? Sometimes it happens...Sometimes, being a good person doesn't help you a lot. I met a friend who doesn't have a good portuguese, and this friend makes a lot of mistakes. I was supposed to correct him, but when I did it, I was judged as a person that wanted to laugh at him. I don't mind if he doesn't speak correctly (i guess i've minded more before), but I think that I can help him, due to my portuguese skills. Sincerely, I din't like this judgement, and I decided not to help anyone.
I met another friend who was interested on meeting one friend of mine. He intended to date this friend of mine. But, I decided not to do this, and I was consideredbad person too. So, what had I better do?
Nowadays, I can figure out the differences between people. There's people who prefer to be helped, others prefer not to. Okay, okay, I know that everybody have their particularities, but it's hard to realize what's the person's type.
I know my type. So, I guess I can help and judge who I decide to. I'm not obligated to help anyone, but I'm sure of my good intentions. From this moment, I'd better stay quiet and wait for help, but if it doesn't work, fuck off!

"You know I love you,

I really do

But I can't fight anymore for you

And I don't know maybe we'll be together again sometime

In another life

In another life

.

.

(...)

"In another life (Veronicas)- Hook Me Up's Album

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, we see the other's problems and we just can't do nothing, instead of looking at it and commenting with that friend beside you. But, Have you ever talked to yourself "fortunately, it wasn't with me"? Sometimes, it's more reasonable to see the problem of your friend keeping your mouth shut that giving him some advices. You know why? it's because you just CAN'T imagine nothing if you don't live it by yourself.Today, I talked to my friend and she said she broke up with her boyfriend. What a lovely couple! Nobody could imagine its end. So, I talked to myself "what if I broke up my relationship"? Well, it's easy to say "nothing lasts forever". But tell me: who are cut out for the 'forever' end? who are able to give up something that was planned to be eternal?...It's difficult to answer, because we can barely see people who are like this.Destiny, destiny....I can feel the butterflies when I spell this word...It requires us to be ready and strong, to be prepaired. But who remembers it? I don't either. We are made of bones, breakable bones! This is the hardest part of our body. So, Why couldn't our heart break down too? Following the destiny is completely impossible, because this proper word show us how uncertain it is.Coming back to my friend's case, I figure out that I just can't plan anything, even those things which sound cool, lovely or strict. Unfortunately, I coulf break those dreams that I used to have when I was younger. Dreamings about the world, about the future, about me. Fortunately, I can't do this. I can't open my eyes and see this world rearing its ugly head for me. If I want, I can keep up dreaming and imagining that world that I've always dreamed about. That love which lasts forever. That friends who's always by my side, helping me. That music which will make me cry for a reason that I still don't know.Destiny, my friend. My brother, my dad, my advicer. I prefer to see you as a good thing or person that is here to guide me, somehow. Maybe thing should be like this, maybe not. But it's irresitible for me not to put this case related to love, to couples, to MY love. There's a lot of people in the world, and we are fool. We are completely fool, because all we need is love. Soon or later, we're supposed to find that soulmate, somewhere. And if my love doesn't work, it's because I'll find something better for me in the future. It's because I have a lot of things to learn before getting engaged, before raising a child. This better this is there, waiting for me. Maybe this is with me, already. Maybe it's living your own life. This could be there, in the destiny, my dear destiny.

.....

P.S. That picture is from an australian band called 'The Veronicas'